I heard this song for the first time the other day.  It was featured on pixie’s post.   It has been wafting through my mind ever since and I think it would make a pretty good theme song, if not for my entire life, then at least for my marriage.

I like what pixie said:

Our image of romantic love evolves. I used to want the all encompassing, drama-filled, crazy can’t-live-without-you love. As I got older this ideal gave way to a preference for a slower, gentler, more comfortable kind of love. I no longer invite the fights and the tears. Communication and tacit understanding trumps all drama. Love is most eminent through mundane yet caring actions. Maybe I’m getting old. But it feels right. I feel at home….

…While you shouldn’t dive into a relationship simply because you’re lonely, there’s also a certain miracle when you meet someone and they understand your solitude. They don’t want to fix you, rescue you, demean your state. They just acknowledge the hurt you’ve been through, see through the walls you’ve built, and offer quiet companionship.

When I was young, I married my boyfriend.  We had been dating for awhile and getting married seemed like the next logical step.  I thought his extroverted personality would add a fun dimension to life.  It did, a little, but mostly it added drama.  And I’ve never been one for drama.

When I was older, I married my husband. He felt like home.  Like home where you can be exactly who you are and it is perfectly okay.  We married after knowing one another for only four months.  As I stood at the altar it suddenly hit me that I was about to pledge the rest of my life to someone I hardly knew.  But then I did know him.  I knew he was my husband and that I would inevitably marry him, so why not now.

While I wouldn’t recommend marrying someone that quickly if you are young, I was old enough and experienced with marriage enough to know what qualities were important to me.

My advice to those who are single:  Don’t marry your boyfriend. Marry your husband.

© The Reluctant Baptist, 2014

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