Baby It’s Inappropriate Inside!

minimalist cookie

Today’s prompt has me featuring a bookcase, something cracked and a song I love. I’m up for the challenge.  I’ll even throw in a song I don’t love.

101 Hymn Stories stands smack dab in the middle of my bookcase.  In it are the stories behind some of my favorite hymns – including Battle Hymn of the Republic and Day By Day.  There are also some Christmas carols, such as Silent Night and O Little Town of Bethlehem.

What you won’t find in the book is the song, “Baby It’s Cold Outside”, or, as I call it, “The Christmas Date Rape Song.”

Momma will talk you through it:

Her:  I really can’t stay   [Good girl]
Him:  Baby it’s cold outside
Her:  I gotta go away  [Yes you do]
Him:  Baby it’s cold outside [He said that already]
Her:  This evening has been
Him:  Been hoping that you’d drop by [Don’t chase boys baby girl]
Her:  So very nice
Him:  I’ll hold your hands they’re just like ice
Her:  My mother will start to worry [Yes she will]
Him:  Beautiful what’s your hurry?  [Beautiful?  Is that all you are because he sure isn’t listening to you?]
Her:  My father will be pacing the floor [Yes he will]
Him:  Listen to the fireplace roar  [He’s still not listening]
Her:  So really I better scurry [Yes, baby, scurry]
Him:  Beautiful please don’t hurry [Still not listening, still not respecting your wishes]
Her:  Well maybe just a half a drink more [No baby]
Him:  Put some records on while I pour
Her:  The neighbors might think
Him:  Baby it’s bad out there
Her:  Say.. what’s in this drink?  [Is this not a date rape song?]
Him:  No cabs to be had out there [If he cared about you he would give you a ride home]
Her:  I wish I knew how
Him:  Your eyes are like starlight now [Your eyes?  What about your heart, your soul, your virtue?]
Her:  To break this spell [just say, “buh-bye”]
Him:  I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell [again with the looks?]
Her:  I ought to say no, no, no sir [you ought to just go, go, go girl]
Him:  Mind if move in closer?
Her:  At least I’m gonna say that I tried [okay now you’re bugging me]
Him:  What’s the sense of hurtin’ my pride?
Her:  I really can’t stay [bugging me]
Him:  Baby don’t hold out
(Both) Ahh but its cold outside! [bugging me]
Her:  I simply must go [bugging me]
Him:  But baby it’s cold outside
Her:  The answer is no [actions speak louder than words]
Him:  But baby it’s cold outside
Her:  This welcome has been
Him:  How lucky that you dropped in [he’s a weeny]
Her:  So nice and warm
Him:  Look out the window at that storm
Her:  My sister will be suspicious
Him:  Gosh your lips look delicious! [Okay, you clearly don’t have the self-esteem to leave, but I do…]

There is something cracked about a Christmas song that celebrates low self-esteem, a booty call and rohypnol.  Call me old-fashioned.


2 thoughts on “Baby It’s Inappropriate Inside!

  1. Pingback: Nothing Says Christmas Like a Roofie | Light & life

Comment here and have no fear. If you regret it or change your mind, just let me know. I will be happy to delete it. (Unless it's about how brilliant I am, then it stays.)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s