kylesteed, Creative Commons

kylesteed, Creative Commons

I do some of my best thinking in the shower, or while I’m drying my hair or applying mascara.  During this morning’s shower I was thinking about brutiful. Brutiful is a word Glennon Doyle Melton used in her blog, Momastery.

My daughter introduced me to Momastery a few months ago, now I’d like to introduce it to you by way of excerpts from two of her posts.  If you have not already met:

From Life Is Freaking Brutiful:

I talk about my addictions because everything beautiful in my life right now came out of the ugliness back then. And still does. I talk about my Lyme disease because I didn’t become strong and peaceful until I learned to surrender to my weakness and mania. I talk about my intolerance and jealousy and sadness and neurosis because those things make me HUMAN and I think that being a messy hypocritical, busted up human is a brutiful honor.

I talk about my flailing marriage because ( and a year ago I’d have ripped your well-meaning head off if you’d predicted this to me) the truth is that my marriage had to be shattered before it could be pieced back together. My marriage was like a busted arm that The Doctor had to re-break before it could heal right. A year ago- it all fell apart. Yes it did. And I about died. But now. Just a year later – my marriage is excruciating and real and true and deep and GORGEOUS for the first time. For the very first time. It also still sucks.

…And so- when I talk about this stuff- this messy stuff in my life – I have a PURPOSE.  I’m not “wallowing in brokenness.” I’m trying to suggest that maybe THE BUSTED UP STUFF IS THE GOOD STUFF.  We resist that idea because we really, really suck at being judges of things. God didn’t ask us not to judge so we’d be nice people. God asks us not to judge for the same reason Craig asks me not to cook- because We just plain SUCK AT IT. So we should just leave that tree to God.

– See more at:

It was this quote from How We Live A Life That’s Hard and Good, coupled with the picture of Craig giving his daughter a ponytail, that was on my mind as I showered:

Now we both have full time jobs outside the home again- and we both have full time jobs inside the home, too. So we are both “mom” and we are both “dad.” Craig cooks and grocery shops and I do the laundry and the dishes. Craig packs the lunches and I help with the homework. I get the oil changed and Craig does ponytails. It’s hard and good.

– See more at:

Fairytales, old movies and romantic comedies “taught” many of us to expect happily ever after – all happy, all the time.  All beautiful, all the time.  And when things don’t turn out to be all happy all the time we panic, fear something is terribly wrong and contemplate an escape.

Reality tv might be teaching this generation to expect fame, lots of tears, exploitation and manipulation.  Mostly brutal, most of the time.

But Glennon is teaching her many followers to expect and embrace brutiful.  And, this side of heaven, I think she’s right.

© The Reluctant Baptist, 2015


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