I’m going to tell you about heart-pounding, belly-twisting nervousness when I should be preparing my talk for tomorrow. Because procrastination in the form of a blog post seems at least a little bit noble and productive. I used to procrastinate by doing mensa puzzles – I was a procrastinating genius.
About that belly-twisting nervousness:
I was about to be interviewed on a radio program. Not that big a deal. The program’s host had interviewed me before, in the studio, and I was only mildly nervous. Perhaps because I had to focus on driving over there. And then, once there, my nervousness was replaced by fascination as I looked at all the controls, watched the broadcasting process and marveled at the host doing his thing.
It went well.
Then he asked me to do a phone interview. Sure, no problem. I knew him pretty well from listening to his program for many years and I liked him, I trusted him, I knew what kinds of questions to expect from him.
Early on the day of the interview I received a call. The host was out sick so a guest host would be interviewing me instead. I was not familiar with him at all, but okay.
Then, about an hour before he was scheduled to call me, I started feeling a little queasy. Then my heart started pounding, my belly started twisting. I had never felt these sensations before. I saw the worship leader puking in the bushes as I walked into church one Sunday. Is this what he had been feeling?
There was no drive to distract me, no process to fascinate me. Just an ever growing bundle of nerves. I wanted to back the heck out. What if I start to puke just as the phone rings?
But I didn’t. I didn’t puke and I didn’t back out. ‘Cuz that’s never who I’ve been.
It didn’t go as well as the in-studio interview because I didn’t have a rhythm with the substitute host and we couldn’t see one another to communicate non-verbally as we chatted. But at least I kept my commitment.
It was my first and last experience of that degree of nervousness.
The third time I was interviewed by that same radio station, the producer of another show scheduled it. It was another phone interview. About mid-way through the on-air conversation I realized that I was the wrong person. The woman she thought she was interviewing had the same first name as me and served in a similar ministry so I could see how the producer had mixed us up. I did my deft best to minimize the awkwardness.