life, war on women

So The Man Leads…

IMG_0715

The dateable female…is not available at the spur of the moment for a date…  Like a fine restaurant, she requires reservations.
– Hayley Morgan DiMarco, the dateable rules a guide to the sexes.

That rule is more a guideline for my dateable daughter.  So when a young man called her Tuesday morning and asked if he could pick her up and take her to dinner that same night, she said yes.  Partly because he wanted to go to a special food event in a nearby foodie town and it was only happening that night, and partly because he had a plan.  “Wanna’ hang out?” is not a plan.  “Can I pick you up at 5:45 and take you to a restaurant crawl?”  is.

So he picked her up and they went.  They were gone 5 hours.  “Good,” I thought, “they must be hitting it off.”

When she returned home she said the evening was fine and that her date is a really nice guy.

“But,” she said the next morning, “here’s what’s wrong with him”:

He was telling me about all the books on Christian dating and marriage that he’s been reading, and he kept asking me what I think a Christian relationship looks like.  So I took the opportunity to tell him that I think a Christian relationship looks like two people walking side by side, both following Jesus.

And he said, “Oh.  Yeah.”

He seemed to get what I was saying.  But then later he lamented that it is hard for the man to lead, especially when the woman wants things a certain way.  “A woman always tries to lead,” he said, “she needs to submit to her husband.”

I told him that this is why I don’t think anyone is meant to lead in a Christian relationship.  And then I pulled out my phone, cued up Rachel Held Evans’s post “10 Marriage Reality Checks (from 10 Years of Marriage)” and had him read item #6.

And he read it.  And he and said, “Oh. Yeah.”

And then later, when the topic returned to Christian relationships once again, he said, “So the man leads…”

We have our work cut out for us.

Advertisements
Standard

24 thoughts on “So The Man Leads…

  1. Oy vey. So this guy is so insecure that he’s already trying to make rules about how a relationship should be before there’s any hint of a relationship. Right. He should be a barrel of fun to live with. Yikes.

    Like

  2. My husband, a devout Christian man, is a professor at a small women’s college, and could pontificate (gotta love that word) at length on this topic. I’m including a link to a book that I found so freeing (where was this back in the 70’s???)about how God empowers women to lead, if you’re ever interested:
    http://www.christianbook.com/fashioned-empowering-fulfill-their-divine-destiny/kris-vallotton
    (no worries, I won’t ever ask whether or not you read it)

    Like

    • I do love that word. My daughter read that book and said, “Mom, he’s saying all the things you said in your book.” She really liked it – all except the last chapter as I recall. I am going to read it after I publish mine (I wrote it in 2010 in Bible study format and piloted it with a few groups. Now I’m converting it to a book.) Happy that you read it and liked it.

      Liked by 1 person

Comment here and have no fear. If you regret it or change your mind, just let me know. I will be happy to delete it. (Unless it's about how brilliant I am, then it stays.)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s