life

And I Hate Everything

Last night I got into a scuffle with a mentally ill blogger friend. And after reading the comments – now deleted – my daughter said, “He’s mentally ill and he’s married. And I’m not. And I hate everything.”

I replied, “Mentally ill people have a right to be married, too.”

“It’s not just mentally ill people,” she said, “it’s a lot of people, including anyone who’s younger than me. Anyone under the age of 25 1/2.”

Please, God, bring her a husband.

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4 thoughts on “And I Hate Everything

  1. Alma Mater says:

    I don’t know if it helps, but I didn’t meet my husband until I was 28, and he was 32. We married when I was 30.

    I remember when I thought I was getting too old to have the family that I’d always dreamed of – I’d always wanted four children. But there I was, my twenties were disappearing, and no potential husband in sight. Even if I met someone, would it be “in time” for what I wanted? I remember being the last single one standing among my friends, and feeling very lonely.

    And here I am, almost 40, coming up to ten years of marriage, and we have four amazing beautiful children – the two boys and two girls of my childhood dreams — and even a fifth on the way! What a wonderful life God has given me. More than I ever dreamed of.

    When I look at my husband and those of my friends, I am so glad that God kept me waiting on this man. He is kind and faithful and he loves me wholly, unreservedly, more than I deserve. He is an amazing father to our children, committed to them and spends all his free time with the family. He even does all the laundry and all the garbage. 🙂 And he tirelessly picks up way more than his share of the workload when I am tired and pregnant — because almost 40 and pregnant is a lot more tired then 20s and pregnant!!

    The best is yet to come.

    Like

    • This morning I reminded her that I was 26 1/2 when her dad proposed to me and 2 months shy of 27 on our wedding day. Her dad was 32.

      She was born 6 days after my 30th birthday. Somehow the reminder seemed to help – seemed to buy her some time.

      Your story will be icing on the cake and I will share it with her when she returns from work this evening. Just the love and kindness it took to type this out and share it alone will mean a lot to her. What a beautiful, encouraging love story. God knows what He is doing. We just need to trust His lovingkindness.

      Thank you!

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      • Alma Mater says:

        Yes, exactly. God knows what He is doing, and it is our (sometimes difficult) privilege to trust Him.

        I see so many marriages breaking up today — so many of those marriages that my peers were making when I was in my 20s were already broken up by the time I got married at 30!

        I don’t think I’m expressing myself very well. It sounds all wrong, like I think it’s a dichotomy between early-bad marriages and later-good marriages. That’s not what I mean at all. I am in no way implying that marriages made at a young age are riskier than those made later.

        My point is only that I see the people I was envious of, and I look at my life now and many of their lives now, and I see that I had no reason to be envious. I had only to wait for better times.

        Hmmm.. I can’t seem to get this expressed properly. I really don’t mean to sound gloating about my own marriage. It is only ten years old, and so I am definitely not (yet) looking back from a place of thirty or forty years of successful marriage!

        So much better to have the good husband that God intended for me, even if I didn’t have him as early as I would have liked, rather than to have a so-so husband early on.

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        • You expressed yourself just fine, Alma. You don’t sound gloating at all. And you won’t sound gloating to my daughter, either. She knows a good heart when she reads one.

          I’m sure there are plenty of good, enduring marriages that started young, but there is a benefit to waiting physiologically speaking. The brain is not fully developed until age 25 and the last thing to develops is the ability to understand the long range consequences of one’s actions. Plus, with age you know yourself better and you have a better idea of how you want to live and what character qualities are most important to you.
          Wishing you many, many happy years with your hub. And many blessings on your beautiful family.

          Liked by 1 person

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