“I am so much like my mother in so many ways” she said, “that I expect I’ll suffer dementia as she did. And I expect I will say very horrible and angry things.”

We were talking about gratitude journals and prayer journals and how they can serve as a sort of family history.  And the thoroughly lovely, soft-spoken, most-considerate-woman-I-have-ever-met sitting next to me thought she ought to start one. To balance the inevitable ugly.

I couldn’t imagine a single angry, ugly word ever coming from her mouth, but, if she is a lot like her mother was, then I’m sure no one had been able to imagine horrible things coming from her mother, either.

“When the filters go,” she said.

And that got me thinking about filters.

And about what a brilliant woman I was privileged to sit beside. A woman who is taking steps to make sure future generations of her family know how much she loved them. How she prayed for them. How grateful she was for them.

No matter what dementia says to the contrary.

What remarkable foresight to see that love has the last word.


6 thoughts on “Legacy

  1. Hi again your name on NaBloPoMo ended up being just above mine. It funny how or strange we end up being like our parents.
    I should be thankful neither one of my parents had dementia. They were sharp as tacks.
    But it seems you have a good adjustment that might or not come up. I’ve done plenty of Genealogy and what we inherited is a toss of the dice. I also have faith in people kind that everything in life ends on a positive note.
    Coffee is on

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve often heard that people who are normally kind and sweet turn kind of hateful with dementia, and vice versa. Proved true with my grandmother. I loved her dearly, but she was high-strung and sharp-tongued before dementia, and became docile and sweet after.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Interesting. I wonder if sharp tongues are also “filters” – that some use to protect themselves. What a blessing that your last memories of her are docile, sweet ones.


  3. Alma Mater says:

    What a thoughtful, generous thing to do, to leave her loved ones a gift like that instead of the difficult bitter feelings that they might otherwise be left with. And if she doesn’t get dementia, only blessing could come of the time she spent journaling prayer and gratitude.

    Liked by 1 person

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