life

Risks, Rewards & Friendships

My first husband was a small business owner. Through him I learned that most small businesses fail within the first five years.  His didn’t, but most do.  It’s all part of the risk/reward.

It just occurred to me that the high failure rate must have an effect on chamber of commerce meetings. When local business owners come together on a regular basis to support one another, friendships are bound to develop. And then a business fails and a new friend is forever absent.

When my grandma was alive, I would spend a week with her every year around her birthday. She loved to play cards so that’s what we’d do, pretty much all day long, for the entire week.

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Birthday visit March 2001. 101 years old

One evening, as we were slowly walking from her small apartment to the dining room, a pleasant looking woman, who was heading into her own small apartment just down the hall from grandma’s, smiled and said hello. Grandma completely ignored her. It wasn’t the first time I had seen grandma snub the woman.

“Grandma, it looks like that woman is trying to make friends with you. Maybe she likes to play cards, why do you keep ignoring her?”

Grandma, who was 99 that year, said, “I’ve lost too many friends, I can’t lose another one.”

She had outlived her husband, all of her friends and, just about six months earlier, even her son, my dad. It was too much.

When I was a new blogger a year and a three-quarters ago, I met other new bloggers. Fell in love with some of them. I didn’t know then what I know now – just like small businesses, most new blogs fall by the wayside.

It’s a tricky thing taking bloggers into your heart.

I guess I just miss my friend.

#tricky

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4 thoughts on “Risks, Rewards & Friendships

  1. I woke up early today and suddenly remembered one thing left hanging – replying to your comment over a month ago. And now I read this thoughtful entry of yours. I never considered what sorts of relationships would be formed prior to my own blogging; I was surprised at the candor of the blogs and lessons I learned from merely reading others document their everyday lives. I think of my own and other bloggers’ absence lightly – after all, these are not “real” friendships, like the ones in flesh and blood? Surely no one will care or notice too much if one quietly takes a (prolonged, or indefinite) hiatus? Yet there’s often more boldness here than we may dare to display in a face to face interaction, behind the power of the pen, or the security of an online identity. Could we not argue that our relationships here are real-er than real life, because we bare our thoughts more so than to someone we see every week yet never speak our minds?

    If I lived to be 101 like grandma, I too may be equally jaded and forbid anyone new from entering my mind and heart. I don’t think I’ll get there for a good while 🙂 for now, if I let people into my heart, albeit briefly, be it online or in RL, I risk getting hurt; but the possibility of learning something true and meaningful about someone else’s struggles and joys is worth it.

    Liked by 1 person

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