I always wear black when I go to the movies.
So I’ll be harder to see.
As soon as I sit down I locate the nearest exit.
And then I devise the safest route for shimmying under the seats toward it.
I always wear pockets when I take my dogs for a walk.
Because I need a place for my phone.
In case I, or one of them, sprains an ankle and I need to call for help.
Or in case one of them looks adorable or the sky is gorgeous or we come upon something interesting or peculiar and I want to take a picture.
But mostly I always bring it in case we come upon someone peculiar.
And I have a plan:
- Snap a picture of him if it looks like he’s going to attack me.
- Tell him the picture has been instantaneously sent to icloud.
- Tell him even if he disposes of my phone, his face is already on my laptop and ipad.
- Tell him my family and the police WILL see it.
So he better just leave.
Now I have to figure out what to wear to softball practice.
If I should ever go to softball practice.
Because the world has gone dangerously mad.
Congressman Steve Scalise is in critical condition and I blame the hate mongers.
Remember Bill Penzey, president of Penzey Spices?
Well, I wonder whether the shooting of Republican congressmen during practice for a charity softball game is what he meant by President Trump’s election unleashing “a wave of ugliness unseen in this country for decades.”
I wonder whether he would admit that his self-righteous rant, along with a host of self-righteous celebrity rants, may have incited Wednesday’s violence.
Really hoping we stop this dangerous game of partisan radicalization.
Before we all need a whole new wardrobe.