Just Be Your Sweet Self

I watched a documentary on Netflix today.  I’ve watched a lot of Netflix on my computer these past 11 days, camped out on my living room floor with my beagle while she recovers from abdominal surgery.  Three more days.

But that’s another post.

The documentary is entitled The Mask You Live In.

If you have Netflix, watch it.

Or stream it from The Representation Project website here.

“That was well done,” I said to my daughter, who joined our little camp out to watch the film with me, “It makes me want to do something.”

“We need to have another retreat,” I continued, “for women, because seeing those young women happily participating in their own dehumanization makes me sad.”

My daughter shared snippets from recent conversations she’s had with young women who are in families that actively teach that it is all about the men.  A woman’s only role is to make men happy.

“In this day and age,” I shook my head.

“If I had had a son, I wouldn’t have raised him the way the men in the film were raised.”

“I know you wouldn’t have,” she replied.

“I feel sad that I’m too old to really have much of an influence,” I said, “but you’re young, you can do things both personally and professionally. If you have a son you can rear him to be a fully human being.  As a therapist you can help young men become fully human through counseling and you can help the moms of boys to rear them well.

“Young men won’t generally go to counseling unless they are mandated to go,” she said, as she folded up her comforter and headed upstairs.

Where my daughter works, counseling is mandatory and some of the men she counsels are really opening up to her as they become re-humanized. It’s a beautiful thought. And a sad thought. A tears-just-below-the-surface thought because she is starting a new job in a week – one where counseling is not mandatory.

I’d love it if you would watch the film and tell me what you think.  Tell me how you were raised. Tell me what we can do.  Help me plan a retreat.



6 thoughts on “Just Be Your Sweet Self

    • Hi Joanne! Yes. She was doing great, no sign of cancer at her check up in August but her October ultrasound revealed 2 slightly enlarged lymph nodes. When the surgeon went in on October 30 he found 5 enlarged nodes, which he removed. Only one of them contained cancer cells. The cancerous node was encapsulated which is good, but because it was right up against two main arteries, he couldn’t get wide margins. Margins of less than a millimeter.

      Her oncologist recommends follow up with radiation and a different chemo drug. We are definitely not going to do the radiation because of the potential side effects and we aren’t sure about more chemo. I’m meeting with the CAM oncologist who treated Bebe to discuss treating Dixie with Traditional Chinese Medicine instead. It’s such a hard decision because there is no data on whether putting her through more chemo would be worth it. Hopefully the path will be clearer after I am presented with all our options.

      Dixie seems to be sensitive to anesthesia so her recovery these last 12 days has been up and down and we had a couple of scares but her appetite is back and her improvement is steady now. I’ll be glad when her stitches come out Tuesday and she can climb stairs, go for walks and jump onto the sofas again. Keeping a dog who is feeling better quiet is challenging. Thanks for asking about her.

      How is your new Buddy doing? E-mail me a picture. 🙂

      Hope you and Russ are well.


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