life

What to Wear?

I always wear black when I go to the movies.

So I’ll be harder to see.

As soon as I sit down I locate the nearest exit.

And then I devise the safest route for shimmying under the seats toward it.

I always wear pockets when I take my dogs for a walk.

Because I need a place for my phone.

In case I, or one of them, sprains an ankle and I need to call for help.

Or in case one of them looks adorable or the sky is gorgeous or we come upon something interesting or peculiar and I want to take a picture.

But mostly I always bring it in case we come upon someone peculiar.

And I have a plan:

  • Snap a picture of him if it looks like he’s going to attack me.
  • Tell him the picture has been instantaneously sent to icloud.
  • Tell him even if he disposes of my phone, his face is already on my laptop and ipad.
  • Tell him my family and the police WILL see it.

So he better just leave.

Now I have to figure out what to wear to softball practice.

If I should ever go to softball practice.

Because the world has gone dangerously mad.

Congressman Steve Scalise is in critical condition and I blame the hate mongers.

Remember Bill Penzey, president of Penzey Spices?

Remember the wretched e-mail he sent me last November?

Well, I wonder whether the shooting of Republican congressmen during practice for a charity softball game is what he meant by President Trump’s election unleashing “a wave of ugliness unseen in this country for decades.”

I wonder whether he would admit that his self-righteous rant, along with a host of self-righteous celebrity rants, may have incited Wednesday’s violence.

Really hoping we stop this dangerous game of partisan radicalization.

Before we all need a whole new wardrobe.

 

 

 

 

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