Help Wanted: Cheerleaders… and a team

I had this friend. She was, is a party girl. I don’t mean that she dances with lampshades on her head, she’s just all about having a good time. And she was a lot of fun.

I didn’t know that she was all about a good time until I asked her to join my board. It didn’t take long to realize that she is not the roll-up-your-sleeves hard-worker type – which is what I needed her to be.

“Oh, well,” I thought, “she can be a cheerleader.” Except she wasn’t.

A cheerleader’s job is to cheer. A cheerleader cannot be a fair weather fan. She has to cheer you on through thick and thin until the bitter, agonizing end. Her job is not to guarantee the win, her job is to keep you going, to pull out your best performance, to energize you.

But a party girl is not there to pull out your best, win or lose. A party girl is there to celebrate a victory. It’s all about the celebration.

I was frustrated because I thought my friend lacked courage. I thought she wasn’t engaging in the mission, wasn’t cheering the team on because she was afraid to be associated with failure. I noticed how viciously she would turn on her favorite sports team when they weren’t winning, as if their failure was her failure. Lots of people are like that. I’m not like that. I’m a loyal fan.

But maybe it’s just that she wants a party and losing teams don’t get a party.

Anyway, I thought she was waiting to ride my coattails, but now I think she was just waiting for a party.

I was waiting for her to cheer me on so I could accomplish the task, and she was waiting for me to accomplish the task so she could cheer.


I finally asked her to step down from the board because her disdain for the faltering team was spreading to other members of the board.

Sometimes you just have to cut your losses.


This Is How It’s Done


I am struggling to balance “If you want it done right, you have to do it yourself” with “People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.”

I have always been content to work alone, though at times I long to be part of a creative team. Supposedly people are supposed to need each other, live and work in community, etc.  So I gave it a whirl.  I let people in.  I relied on them.  And I learned that reliable people are really, really, really hard to find.  I have only found one so far.  My husband.

I took a group of women to an island to bless them and to capture their stories. My small non-profit with a small budget spent a lot of money to bless them and capture their stories.

One board member said she would arrange for a friend to do the videotaping.  But she didn’t.  So at the last minute I was about to contact the professional who had videotaped our last retreat.  I knew he would do quality work. But then I received a Facebook message from a young man I met when I spoke at a camp years ago.  He studied videography in college and had been through some recent hard times.  So I offered him the job.  If he was willing to drive the ten hours to my house, I would transport him to the island, cover his food and lodging for the weekend and I would pay him.

I hired him out of compassion.  In one recent year his mother died unexpectedly while on a mission trip in Jamaica.  Then his paternal grandmother died.  Then his sister committed suicide.  Last year he developed blood clots in his lungs and was bedridden for six months.  The clots happened shortly after he landed his dream job, which he lost.

Over the course of the weekend, the young man lamented about how he “cannot catch a break”, about how people do not want to pay him for his work, about how he has been hired and then put on the shelf, etc.  He scratched his head, just couldn’t understand it.  I understand it. There was nothing he could do to prevent his personal tragedies, but there is plenty he can do about his professional woes.

This is for him, and for you, too, if you care to listen:

Every time someone hires you, you have caught a break.  Make the most of it.  Do it with excellence and you will get another chance.  No one is going to shelf excellence. We talked over the weekend about not overselling oneself.  About how delighted people are when you exceed their expectations.  About how instead of waiting for that big break to show what you can do, do it now.  You get the big breaks by excelling in the small ones.  You become great by doing great.

Doing great means being prepared.  It is not great to discover three minutes into filming that your SD card is full.  Next time you are hired to film an event, invest a few dollars in a brand new SD card or two.

I know nothing about videography, which is why I hired you.  I don’t know about SD cards and what equipment is necessary.  But if, when I offered you the job you had said, “I would love to take this job but I do not have a proper wireless mic and the quality of sound from my on-camera mic will not be great,”  I would have been happy to purchase a proper mic.  Instead you took the job and waited until we got on the island to tell me your mic’s limitations.  An island with no mic stores.

As the videographer, it is your job to notice things like how much noise goes on outside our meeting room every evening between 7 and 10 pm.  Especially since we would be filming from 8-10 pm on Sunday.  When your goal is excellence, you pay attention to potential barriers to excellence and overcome them.  Instead, an hour before filming was to begin I was requesting something to use as a backdrop when I really needed to be preparing for my presentation.  A few minutes into our noisy filming session, I was asking the concierge to move us to a quiet room because, “If you want it done right, you have to do it yourself.”

Finally, when you are hired for a job, make sure you pay attention to what your customer wants.  This customer wanted you to capture stories.  You were there to capture stories.  And then you deleted 3 of them.  Two of the best ones.  If the sound was distorted, I could have transcribed them and used them in written form.  Never delete anything you capture until you are positive that your customer doesn’t want it.  Bring enough SD cards and you won’t have to delete anything.

At the end of the weekend you said you hoped the finished product would exceed my expectations.  Bless your heart but it won’t.

It won’t because three precious stories have been lost.  I spent $12,000 to capture those stories and you deleted them.  And the sound quality of the others is far from professional.  I don’t want to lay a guilt trip on you or anything.  I just want you to learn.  I want you to be excellent next time.  It is not about how much money you can make.  It is about excellence.  A client can potentially waste a lot of time and money if you do a lame job.  When someone hires you, they are counting on you.  Step back and look at the whole picture.

When we returned to my house, you said you wished we could trade lives.  I know that you live in an area of the country that does not hold a lot of opportunity.  But it is not only about geography.  You saw my husband’s diplomas on his office wall.  I have diplomas, too.  Go back and finish college if you want my life.  My husband gets up every morning whether he feels like it or not and goes to work.  When he comes home from work he takes care of business at home.  He does not play video games.  When he was young like you he took menial jobs to pay for college.  When he graduated he took jobs he didn’t love as stepping stones to better jobs.  You said you would not take menial jobs, you said you don’t want to be tied down to a daily commitment.  We could trade residences but you would still not have my life.  You won’t have my life until you are willing to make sacrifices for it.

Live and learn.

Next time I give a young artist a break I will make sure he/she is break-worthy.  I will ask him/her what kind of mic they have, what they would do in the case of a noisy room, etc.  I will purchase a few SD cards just in case.

I gave my young friend the money I promised him because I am a woman of my word.  But next time I will pay per story, on a sliding scale.  From $0 for deleted or unusable to $plenty-generous for excellent.

Better still I might take a few classes, buy a camera and do it myself. Because people who don’t need people are the least disappointed people in the world.