life

A No Diego, Slows & Astro Day

The Diego Rivera exhibit is cheaper if you go on a Friday, but it is impossible to get a parking spot anywhere near the art museum – or anywhere in the city at all – on a weekday.  Every lot, every garage is full.

So after squeezing my Escape through the torn up, road-construction-narrowed streets and failing repeatedly to find a spot, we abandoned our plan and headed to lunch.

IMG_1589

I had been wanting to try this place.  It did not disappoint.

A few doors down was a groovy coffee shop and you know how the daughter and I love the groovy coffee.

IMG_1585

It was while I was eating my half of our sea-salted, hazelnut, chocolate chip cookie and sipping my mocha that Daughter pulled out her phone and had me read this quote:

When we speak of the wife obeying the husband, we normally think of obedience in military or political terms: the husband giving orders, and the wife obeying them. But while this type of obedience may he appropriate in the army, it is ridiculous in the intimate relationship of marriage. The obedient wife does not wait for orders. Rather, she tries to discern her husband’s needs and feelings, and responds in love. When she sees her husband is weary, she encourages him to rest; when she sees him agitated, she soothes him; when he is ill, she nurses and comforts him; when he is happy and elated, she shares his joy. Yet such obedience should not be confined to the wife; the husband should be obedient in the same way. When she is weary, he should relieve her of her work; when she is sad, he should cherish her, holding her gently in his arms; when she is filled with good cheer, he should also share her good cheer. Thus a good marriage is not a matter of one partner obeying the other, but of both partners obeying each other.  – St John Chrysostom 

“Yeah, that’s pretty good,” I said, “but I think he could have just said, ‘Obedience has no place in the intimate relationship of marriage’ and left it at that.  Because good marriages don’t talk about or define mutual respect and consideration, they just naturally do it.”

But being young and not yet married, she liked that someone spelled out the fact that marriage is a two way street.  Because so often godly Christians insist that the only godly street is a one way street.

In the car on the way home she said, “Maybe I shouldn’t urge you to play it so safe in your writing.”

And then she read a quote from Anne Lamott:

“If something inside of you is real, we will probably find it interesting, and it will probably be universal. So you must risk placing real emotion at the center of your work. Write straight into the emotional center of things. Write toward vulnerability. Risk being unliked. Tell the truth as you understand it. If you’re a writer you have a moral obligation to do this. And it is a revolutionary act—truth is always subversive.”  – Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life

“Right,” I said, “because the whole beauty of me is that I don’t need to be liked. I’ll still run some of my posts by you for your yawn-o-meter, but I won’t let your people-pleasing nature stifle me anymore.  Someone has to be a voice for the people who think like me, even if we are only 1% of the population.”

Solidarity INFJ sisters.  And brothers.

Standard
life

Outsmarting a Madman

I was a child at the breakfast table the first time I rescued anyone.  I was eating my oatmeal as my dad recounted the dream he had the night before:  He spoke of being trapped in a cave by a tiger, and of how I rescued him.  My eyes were wide as I listened.  I rescued him?  On the one hand, it was a scary thought:  I was only a small child.  On the other hand, I was very proud and happy to have done it.  Perhaps that moment planted the seeds of my “protector” personality.

I’ve had a recurring dream these many years since then, though not recently.  The setting and the specific threat changes from dream to dream, but I am always with or near a group of strangers and there is always danger.  And in every scenario it is up to me to calm, disarm, and/or outsmart a madman.

So far we’ve all come out alive.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Daring Do.”

Standard
family, life

Dutiful is Beautiful

This is why I love my husband:

Friday night:

Hub:  What are your plans for tomorrow?
Me:  If it’s not raining, Daughter and I are going to the Farmers Market in the morning.  Do you want to come?
Hub:  I’d rather get an early start on my errands, maybe I’ll meet you there.

Saturday morning the phone rings at 9:10.  It’s the hub.

Hub:  What are you doing?
Me:  Just finishing a post, where are you?
Hub:  At the Farmers Market.
Me:  Oh, sorry, I was in the zone, plus it was raining/snowing when I let the friends out this morning.  Take a lap and see if anyone has anything interesting.
Hub:  Like what?
Me:  Like things I can use for Thanksgiving centerpieces.

A few minutes later he sent this text:

IMG_0160

And then came home with one of each color.

For years I have known that I am an INFJ and my daughter is an ISFP, but the hub always refused to take the test.  Until… Thursday night he came home from work and handed me the results.

Me:  “What? We can finally find out whether we are compatible!
Him:  No verbal response, only a wry, you’ve-lost-your-mind grin.

It turns out he is an ISTJ – a Duty Fulfiller.

Oh yes, God bless his responsible, reliable heart, he is.  To a tee.  And we are compatible.  I knew it.  We are a family of three happy, compatible introverts.  A protector, an artist and a duty fulfiller – safety, beauty and duty – we have it covered.

Heading to church later to greet at the urban campus.  What type are you?

Standard